


'I Would Like to Know You Better'

by Hydraulic01



Category: Jak and Daxter
Genre: Awkward Romance, Erotica, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Gay, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Porn with Feelings, Sexual Tension, Touching, wholesome times honestly the boys get to relax and have fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-22 07:33:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30035217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hydraulic01/pseuds/Hydraulic01
Summary: Set after game 2--Jak and Torn get caught in a rain storm while on a mission in Haven Forest. Torn wants to stay dry, but Jak doesn't mind getting wet... They wait out the storm, and get to know each other a little better too...
Relationships: Jak & Torn (Jak and Daxter), Jak/Torn (Jak and Daxter)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	1. In the Cave

Torn stumbled into the mouth of the cave through a sheet of rain, grateful he spotted the cave before the rain got too heavy. His clothes were still mostly dry. It’d be annoying to wait out the storm, but it would be more annoying trying to get back to haven city through it. At least Torn thought so. He hated getting rained on.

“We can camp out here for a few hours… with any luck, this storm will blow over in a few…. Jak?” Torn realized his traveling companion hadn’t followed him. He looked back into the forest, and saw Jak some several yards away, just standing in the down pour.

“What the hell, Jak?” he called out to him…. but received no answer. The rain was torrential now, Jak probably couldn’t hear him. Probably couldn’t hear anything. Torn watched as Jak let the rain drench him all the way to the bone. His first thought was that it was weird. But Torn quickly felt that first thought was wrong. Jak did impulsive things, sure, but here… the look on his face told him that it wasn’t some spur-of-the-moment whim. It was more like… he was remembering something. 

Jak looked positively serene. His hair and clothes were plastered to his skin, and yet, he hardly seemed to notice. He just turned his face and palms up toward the sky and let the droplets come down on him freely. He smiled to himself, his eyes following the fray of the trees as their branches bent and swayed from the force of the wind and rain. Torn thought he’d never seen anyone so happy to have their day ruined. Torn waved to him, catching the edge of his peripheral vision, and Jak finally acknowledged him. 

“Get your ass in here!” He shouted with his hands cupping his mouth to send his voice as far as possible. Jak wrinkled his brow, like he didn’t want to. Jak opened his mouth to say something— perhaps ‘not yet’— when a bolt of lightning crackled across the seething, grey sky— followed by the ground-shaking thunder not a moment later.

\-----

  
In the cave, the two sat around the fire Torn had built. Thankfully, there was enough dry debris in the cave to make a fire from, and Torn had remembered to bring his fire starter with him. Jak had stripped off his shirt and shoes and laid them as near to the fire as he dared, but elected to keep his pants on. He told Torn that the fabric of his pants was light, and they would dry fast anyway… but the reality was that he and Torn were still pretty unfamiliar.The two men hadn’t spent much time together, outside of their efforts to overthrow Baron Praxis, of course. Certainly they’d been through enough together to be more than ‘associates’… but were they friends? Jak wasn’t sure.

When Torn had invited him to go on a mission to Haven Forest, he’d felt a twinge of excitement to spend time with him. He’d always felt that Torn was someone he could be good friends with, if only they had the time, and maybe some privacy— he thought of Daxter and felt a bit guilty for leaving him out. 

But Torn’s invitation to Haven Forest was prefaced as a strictly business outing— Jak was there as his muscle, in case trouble showed up. He made it clear that they are just here for work, not as friends… so the pants stayed on.

Torn had found a rock to lean back against and was watching Jak curiously, he seemed lost in thought. Torn can guess what Jak thinks of him— that he’s an up-tight, workaholic, with a drinking problem, most likely. He knows that’s what most people think of him, and he’s usually glad for it. Although it’s not completely true, having an image like that comes in handy for keeping people in line— and there are a lot of lives that depend on him being able to do that. But now, as he looks over at Jak— sitting by the fire, looking like he’s somewhere else completely— he wishes he could change all that. He wishes Jak didn’t just see him as his hard-ass boss, and that he could tell him what he’s thinking about— and what he thought about in the rain.

“… So, where were you?” Torn asks Jak from his spot across the cave.

“huh?” Jak responds, returning to the present moment and looking over at him.

“In the rain, you looked… like you were somewhere else.” Jak blushes and looks away.

“oh, that… I was just… thinking about home, I guess. Sandover, I mean.” Sandover. The place that used to be here. Torn had heard Jak mention it once or twice.

“Oh yea?… Did everyone like standing out in rainstorms back then?” Torn asked, aiming for levity. It worked. Jak managed a laugh.

“No, not everyone. Just us kids. We’d get warm, summer showers that were just like this. They seemed to come from nowhere sometimes, so we got caught in them a lot.”

“We?”

“Dax, Kiera, and me.”

“Oh yea. I forget that you guys were all kids together… You’re all so different now.” Torn pondered, raising an eyebrow as he thought of Daxter specifically.

“Yea… really different.” Jak said, trailing off. He looked away from the fire and back out at the rain. The lightning had stopped, but the rain was still going strong. Thoughts of Kiera and Daxter, and the kids they used to be, and the place this used to be, all washed over him. The wet, warm breeze of the storm swirled about in the cave and tickled his skin, like it was Sandover calling him back, Jak thought. 

‘ _Damn it, he wishes Daxter was here_ ’, Torn thought as he watched Jak go pensive again. He wrinkled his brow at the thought of Daxter’s smug face taunting him. ‘ _Aww, poor Jak, stuck in the rain with ol’ sour puss over here all day? yikes, talk about a double-downer, ahaha~’_

‘No. Not happening. Not on my watch.’ Torn thought. Suddenly, he was determined. Jak clearly needed a friend right now, and, damn it, he was going to be that friend. Torn was determined to make sure that Jak didn’t leave this cave thinking he was just his boss who didn’t care.  
  
\-----

“Do you miss it?” Torn asked, as he moved from his spot to join Jak near the fire. Jak looked surprised.

“Oh. Not all the time, no… but sometimes. Yea.” Jak seemed uncomfortable, like he didn’t know how much emotion he could show around Torn.

“Tell me about it.”

“What, Sandover?”

“Yea, I’m curious.”

“…Why?”

“Do I need a reason to ask about where you grew up?”

“… Well, you’ve just never asked about that kind of stuff before.” Torn rolled his eyes at this.

“I don’t know if you remember that little rebellion you were a part of, but I was the one running it. I was busy a lot. Didn’t exactly have time for small talk.” Jak groaned.

“You know what I mean. You never seemed interested before.”

“I wasn’t.”

“ _Oh…_ ” Jak’s ears twitch at Torn’s bluntness.

“But... I’m interested now…. so… you know… tell me what it was like.” Torn blushed and avoided looking directly at him. Shit, he was really rusty at this. Jak sensed Torn’s unease, hearing the tension in his voice at this slightest of admissions, and had the sudden realization that Torn was trying to be his friend...

After a pause, Jak relaxed. “Ok, fine… since you wanna know so bad.” He went on to describe his idyllic home, and the sun-soaked childhood he spent there. He tells Torn all about the people that raised him, the lush jungle, the pristine beaches, his favorite foods, his favorite places to play, and the games they loved to play there. Torn couldn’t help but be drawn in by Jak’s tales of Sandover. The light that flickered in his eyes as he talked was something he’d never seen in them before— or in anyone else’s either. The more Jak described this place that he loved so much, the more Torn felt like it was all around them— the sweet smell of wet grass and rain from the storm transporting them both back to that place— before the war, and the city, and the metalheads…

And then Jak brought them both back to the present as he described the events that led up to his ride through the rift ring. He let out a sigh.

“Everything’s so different now… It’s hard to believe this is really the same place.” He said, looking back out through the mouth of the cave, and Torn watched the light in his eyes slowly fade away. He hummed his acknowledgement.

“So that’s why you were all smiley then. You were thinking about old times.” Torn stated. Jak looked back at Torn with a blank expression.

“No… not exactly.” Jak said.

“Hm?”

“I mean, yea, I thought about the past, but that’s not why I was smiling.” Torn stayed quiet. He knew Jak was on the verge of sharing something with him and one wrong word could scare him back into his shell. He endured the pause while Jak looked for the right words, and prayed that they were both past the point of feeling awkward in silence.

“I guess I was smiling because… I was so glad to see it again. So much is different here, but…. the angry sky, the warm rain, the way the trees bend in the wind like they’re gonna break, but never do— it’s all the same. It made me feel like… like I am home. Even though I don’t recognize it all the time… this storm is something that I do recognize, so it made me…” Torn held his breath “… _really happy_ …. that’s all.”

Jak smiled the softest, saddest, sweetest smile Torn had ever seen, while he looked out towards the rain that continued beyond the cave. ‘…. _shit_ .’ Torn cursed himself when he realized he was staring. ‘ _Look somewhere else damn it_ ’ He looked down, acknowledging for the first time since they started talking that Jak was shirtless— and that his tanned, lean muscles looked very good in the warm, flickering light of the fire, glistening ever so slightly with the last bits of rain water that refused to dry. Why notice that now? Shit. He must be sitting too close to the fire, Torn thought, as a tingling-burning sensation spread over his cheeks and ears.   
  
\-----  
  


He was not prepared for this, Torn thought. He was not prepared for _this_ guy to make him _feel_ things. Jak had practically bared his soul to him, and now—while Torn usually couldn’t give a shit about seeing dudes naked bodies— he was getting flustered over just the sight of his bare chest. ‘ _Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was not the plan_.’ He needed an out. He didn’t want to leave, or make Jak feel like he didn’t care; but if Jak got anymore real— or anymore glistening— Torn was suddenly sure that he would die.

‘ _Move. Move_ **_now_ ** _._ ’ his body screamed at him. He stood. Jak wrinkled his brow at him. Torn paced for a moment, looking for somewhere to direct his attention that wasn’t Jak.

“What’s got into you?” Jak asked. ‘ **_you have_ ** _._ ’ Torn thought with so much venom he almost said it out loud. He stifled himself. God, why did he feel like he was about to vibrate out of his skin? He turned and faced the mouth of the cave, looking out at the rain and putting Jak and the fire behind him. Trusting that the sound of the rain would bury the sound, Torn took several deep breaths through his nose, trying to steady his screaming nerves. 

In a way that he hoped looked natural, Torn reached his hand out into the sheet of rain water experimentally, like he was thinking something. He really just didn’t want Jak to think he was over here blushing like a horny teenager, so he pretended to investigate the rain…. But, to his surprise, Torn did find something comforting about the rain, now that he gave it a chance. Maybe it was his heightened awareness of his body— or maybe he had taken Jaks words to heart— but, suddenly, Torn found that he didn’t mind being wet anymore.  
  
The warm summer rain trickled over his fingers and palm and began soaking into the start of his sleeve. It was the responsible-adult reflex to stay clean and dry that had driven him to the cave earlier. But, upon real consideration, the rain itself didn’t feel unpleasant. It was actually… kind of nice.  
  


Torn remembered Jak’s blissed out expression from earlier, when he let himself get soaked in his clothes, and thought of his descriptions of being a carefree child, getting caught in summer storms in his childhood paradise… ‘ _Being that carefree, must’ve been nice_ ’ Torn thought, as he briefly recalled his own childhood— which had been much uglier, and much shorter by comparison. Torn can barely remember that time of his life when he didn’t constantly have something to worry about… The warm rain water on his hand was calling back that feeling for him, one so long forgotten. And the feeling slowly spread, from his hand, to his heart, and finally, to his brain. ‘… _fuck it_ .’ he thought.  
  
“… You know, I think you’re onto something here.” Torn said over his shoulder. Jak squinted at him skeptically as Torn started un-doing the straps of his armor plates and tossing them aside.

  
“Hey…. Torn, what are you—“ Jak didn’t finish his question. He was stifled by the sight of Torn taking his shirt off and it completely derailed his train of thought. Jak suspected that Torn’s top had zippers or straps holding it to him, but it seemed like Torn decided to skip undoing his suit top properly in favor of peeling it over his head in one smooth motion, his back muscles rippling and flexing as he did so. It was… really... _really_ sexy. Was that on purpose? Jak swallowed dryly as Torn undid the straps of his boots and kicked them off too.  
  
“But I’m not _fuckin’ around_ with wet shoes.” Torn said sharply. He’d keep his pants on though, same as Jak, since that was the level of skin exposure he seemed to be comfortable with.  
  
Holy shit, Torn cut a nice silhouette, Jak thought as he watched him in front of the sheet of rain in just his trousers— which were perfectly skin tight, he noted. The patterns of his krimzon guard tattoos accentuated the dents and ridges of every muscle, paving the way from his broad shoulders all the way down to his perfectly narrow waist. Jaks eyes found their home at the curve of Torn’s hips, where his tattoos dutifully outlined the angles of his pelvis as they continued their way under the waistband of his pants.  
  
Jak was in the middle of wondering if Torn’s tattoos went all the way down when, suddenly, the body he’d been enjoying the sight of stepped out into the steady rain. When Jak finally refocused, and realized what Torn was doing, he grinned from ear to ear. He leapt up from his spot by the fire and went to the mouth of the cave. He wanted to watch this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote this based off of a prompt from a friend on discord, while listening to 'Know You Better' by Proximity on youtube. and here it is, if you wanna listen too!  
> (youtube.com/watch?v=am1t_-z3USQ)
> 
> It's such a relaxing, romantic, longing song! and I thought it fit this scene perfectly.
> 
> It just made me want to write about Jak and Torn wanting to know each other better, but being awkward, since they've only been soldier and superior to each other before now.
> 
> Torn has feelings, but represses them hard. Jak is a sentimental guy who misses his old home... but the warm rain of a summer storm gives them both the time and space to open up to each other.
> 
> There's lots of wholesomeness that follows... and also other stuff, a little less wholesome, later on. ;)


	2. In the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dash of whim gets them both out into the rain. Torn really needs a break, and Jak knows exactly how to have fun... though he doesn't really know how to stop.

_'I_ _would like to know you better_

_I would like to know you better’_

It really was… something else, Torn thought. Every drop of warm summer rain on his skin felt like it was soothing an ache he didn’t know he had… or, that he had lived with for so long he had forgotten he had it. Torn tilted his face and palms skyward and felt the rain gradually consume him. The sensation was completely different from having a shower. Bathing served a purpose. But this was… its own purpose. To feel free. To just… not care about anything… for a minute. ’ _…Is this how you felt, Jak? This feeling_ …’ For a second, Torn felt so peaceful he thought he could cry.

But then… he felt himself smile. It bubbled up from somewhere inside him, like an old friend. This pure feeling that he couldn’t quite name, that overwhelmed and pushed out all others— and he just couldn’t stop himself. First, he smiled, and then he started to laugh. It was completely ridiculous, he thought. How could something so simple— so stupid— make him feel so utterly relieved? The absurdity seemed to compound on itself the longer he stood there, and yet it only made him happier. The crazier he thought it was, the happier it made him that he didn’t care.

Soon, Torn was nearly doubled over with laughter. He didn’t really like the sound of his own laugh— so he was grateful to the rain for drowning it out— but he did relish the feeling of his lungs and vocal-chords heaving and shuddering in the way that had become so rare. He held his sides as he laughed into the waning storm. ‘ _God, that feels good_.’ Torn’s hysterical ecstasy was interrupted by the feeling of hands grasping his shoulders. Jak was shaking him, his face inches away as the rain reclaimed his half-dried body.

“You ok?” Jak asked with a smile, not bothering to hide his amused satisfaction. He already knew the answer. Torn was practically giddy, still shaking with the last of his laughing fit.

“Am I **_ok_ **?!” Torn parroted sarcastically, in-between breaths. He couldn’t stop what he did next either. He didn’t care. Not here. Not right now. Torn closed the distance between their dripping bodies— wrapping his arms around Jak’s torso and giving him an earnest squeeze, pressing their slick bodies together in the rain.

“ _I’m fucking great._ ” Torn said into the crook of Jak’s shoulder. 

Jak actually barely heard him. He could only hear the rain falling all around them, made seemingly louder by the pounding sound of his heartbeat in his ears.

Jak unintentionally went rigid at the sudden contact. Jak’s shock at Torn’s hug was two-fold; One, he’d never seen Torn this vulnerable before. And two, Jak had been ogling Torn’s physique just a few moments ago, and now it was on him— much, much sooner than he was prepared for-- the rise and fall of his labored breaths making them slide against each other, ever so slightly.   
  
Jak was so flustered at both, that he couldn’t focus on either. The fact that Torn was showing affection and gratitude toward him— or the fact that Torn’s toned pecs and abs were now flush with his own… and then, there was the fact that, for the first time ever, Torn actually felt like a real friend… 

Jak couldn’t decide which idea he was happier about, so he settled on ‘all of the above’, and wrapped his arms around him in return, as the warm, steady rain soaked into them both.

\-----

Jak led Torn through the rain by a grip on his wrist, to the sight of a stream they’d passed while patrolling the forest earlier that day, before the storm had swept in. Torn had mostly composed himself after their hug, and was now content to follow this willful guy just about anywhere. They were both completely soaked already. The sensation of lush grass squelching with every step against the sodden earth below was another feeling that Torn had never experienced before— he found it curiously novel, but also, comfortingly familiar. Maybe he had done this as a kid once too, some forgotten eternity ago.

When Jak stopped pulling him along, Torn looked up to see that the stream they had passed earlier had engorged and was now a flooded river bed, with calm, silty water swallowing the land and grass for several meters in every direction. They were standing in a few centimeters of water already, here at the edge of the floodplain.

“Woah…” Torn said as he appreciated the scene. It was strange to see nature in this state of excess. A placid flood. A small calamity that was exactly where it was supposed to be. 

“How’d you know this was here?” Torn asked of Jak, intrigued. The stream had been shallow- barely trickling- when they’d come through a few hours ago.

“I didn’t. But you can tell by the pattern of the grass that it floods a lot here.” Oh yeah, Torn thought. When it was dry, he had seen that the grass had a certain flattened and combed look to it, like something had frequently swept over it. Torn hadn’t put it together that it meant this was a floodplain… Jak did though.

“Huh…” another smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. Jak was pretty smart when he wanted to be, Torn thought. ‘ _Of course he would notice something like that…_.”

“Pretty nice, right?” Jak said jovially as he walked out into the flooded plain, sending small waves rippling through the fields of submerged grass with every step— Torn thought he saw frogs jump up and disappear into the water, somewhere in the distance. The grey sky washed everything in directionless light, and the rain gave every leaf and every blade of grass a shimmering, animated quality— like the storm was bringing the whole forest to life.

“Yea…” Torn watched as Jak gleefully trounced through the water, reaching the deepest point— where the creek itself had been— and the water was just about at his knees. Jak looked back and beamed at him.

“shit… that feels _nice_!” Jak kicked and splashed amid the slow moving water, looking as close to a child again as any full-grown man with a goatee could get. 

“You’re _adorable_ .” Torn sneered. He meant it though, he realized. It wasn’t just a joke. Torn was completely enamored with him. He was amazing. How could someone who’d been through so much still have so much joy in their heart? His shining blue eyes and sun-blond hair made Jak the most vibrant thing in this muted world of green and grey.   
  


Torn was wondering if he would get another opening to learn more about him when a sheet of silt-colored water hit him square across the face… Jak had splashed it at him. When he wiped the water from his eyes, he saw Jak standing there daringly, and smirking like an over-confident ass…   
  
If it had been anyone else, anywhere else, Torn would have probably laid them out cold… But it was Jak. They were friends. And they were here, in the rain, where nothing mattered. So it wasn’t rage that welled up inside him… but fire. 

“Oh _man…_ “ Torn chuckled, a grin spreading over his lips “… _You are gonna regret that._ ”

\-----

Jak expected Torn to do something after he splashed him... What he did not expect was how good Torn would be at splashing him back. Did they teach ‘how to aim water at peoples eyes’ in Krimzon Guard Academy? Jak was sure that Torn had practiced this somewhere, because his splashes were remarkably accurate. He seemed to know the exact angle to slap the surface of the water hit to Jak in the face almost every time. He had no choice but to start taking steps backwards as they splashed each other in the knee-deep water.

“You fucker!—“ another splash “—why are you so good at this?!” Torn scoffed.

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere Jak, you know that.” Jak retreated towards the shallower waters and kicked, sending water splattering across Torns face and chest. Jak had a lot of power in his legs, Torn thought. It would be harder for Torn to reach him at this distance, but Jak’s kicks could still send water far enough to reach Torn. Torn conceded the stand-off with a shrug…. then started moving toward him.

Jak yelped, his ears dropping. If Torn got any closer, he’d lose his range advantage— he’d be done for. 

“No, _no, no,_ **_no_ **— stay back!” Jak tried to hit Torn with another splash-kick, but he hit the water wrong, and only lightly sprayed him— and he also lost his balance. Jak stumbled, over-corrected, and fell backwards into the flooded plain. By the time Jak looked up it was already too late. Torn had gotten a running start, lunged, and landed with both feet hitting the water just in front of him at a deadly angle— making the biggest splash of the entire fight— and blanketing him with a wave of murky, tepid, rain water.

“AAaagh--”

Torn looked down at Jak, who lay defeated in the shallow water-- flushed, panting, and dirty-- with locks of his hair plastered across his face and the marshy grasses of the floodplain licking at his arms and legs, as he wiped the water from his face and tried to catch his breath. Torn couldn’t help but laugh, he almost looked pitiful. Almost… But, with a body like his, Jak never looked too bad. 

Maybe it was the warm water clinging to his body in it’s pleasantly soothing way-- maybe it was his elevated heart rate from his exertions-- or maybe it was just the wonderful strangeness of the whole scenario… but for some reason, Torn realized that he was really, really happy to be alive at that moment.  
  
Jak gasped for breath as he wiped the water out of his eyes, and looked up at Torn standing over him. For the first time since they started, he realized he was getting tired. Moving through water was hard enough, but running and kicking in it was torturous after a while. Not to mention their water-logged pants made every step a labor of its own. Torn was out of breath too, Jak saw his chest heaving from the intensity of their water fight. He was sure Torn would complain about this later, but right now, there was no hiding the glee in Torn’s eyes at having thoroughly beaten him.

“ _Fine_ !” Jak snapped between heaving breaths “You _win_!” Torn grinned like a devil.

“ _You…_ are _god-damn right_ .” Torn panted from above him. The rain was lighter now. Torn looked around, soaking in the moment, reveling in how much fun was having… and how beautiful it all was. Everything; the rain, the woods, the burning feeling in his lungs. Torn felt the most carefree and relaxed he’d been in years...   
  
Jak only looked up at Torn though… an hour ago he was drying his clothes by their fire in the cave, and feeling too shy to tell Torn about Sandover. But now-- Torn was out in the rain with him, looking like he was having the time of his life. He smiled. He hadn’t thought Torn was capable of letting loose like this… did he do it for him?

Jak let Torn catch his breath before reaching his hand up to him, the universal gesture for ‘a little help, please?’ Torn clasped his hand and pulled. Jak made it half-way out of the water before grabbing Torns arm and jerking-- hard-- sending them both backwards with a splash.

\-----

Typical of Jak to pull a cheap trick like that, Torn thought as he hit the water, and the earth just below it. Jak wasn’t the type to take a loss without fighting. His determination to win was one of the best things about him-- usually. Torn found it less endearing in this moment though, as Jak scrambled to grab Torn by his shoulders, trying to dunk him.

Jak knew it was cheap, but if today was about being carefree, then he wasn’t going to let something as petty as pride keep him from getting competitive. He felt a surge of childish elation at successfully submerging Torn’s head in the shallow water as he slammed him down, his full weight pressing down on him.

“Ha _ha_ ! Got ya!”   
  
The satisfaction was short lived though. When he expected Torn to push back on him, he didn’t. Instead, he found himself being pushed forward by his own weight, as Torn bucked and twisted out from under him. Jak almost fell face first into the water himself, but Torn was already countering with his own grapple. ‘ _ok... so that might have been a mistake_ ’, Jak thought, as the former Krimzon Guard officer threaded his arms around his neck and chest, and body slammed him into the floodplain.   
  


“Aaaugh! Sonofa _bitch_!” Jak complained as he thrashed against Torns grip. 

Torn’s training had taken over the second he felt Jak’s weight on his shoulders. Years of combat drills and open warfare had made escaping grapples more of a reflex than a conscious action for him. He was in full warrior mode now-- but the kid had this coming for fighting dirty like that. 

He knew a dozen different ways to make Jak submit, but there were only a few that would work without drowning him. Six centimeters of water didn’t look that dangerous, but it was plenty of water to drown someone in-- so, fortunately for Jak, Torn decided it was best not to get carried away. After a few moments of Jaks struggling in vain against his hold, Torn released him, and sat back on his haunches.  
  
“ _Alright--_ ” he huffed “that’s enough--” Jak lunged for him, grabbing him by his shoulders again and pushing him backwards. Jak’s eyes were sharp and gleaming with feral intent as they fell. “ **_\--Seriously?_ **” Torn braced for impact, breaking his fall with one arm and putting the other between them to keep Jak at a safe distance. Although, “safe” wasn’t exactly how he’d describe the position they ended up in.

Jak straddled him, his hands in the water, pinning Torn in with his forearms on either side. They were both panting-- practically breathing each other's breaths-- as rainwater trickled between them, from Jak’s abs to Torn’s stomach. Jak hovered inches away from him, his face red from their vigorous exchange, and his crystal blue eyes glazing over with his amusement. Of course, Torn could escape him easily if he tried, but… looking up at Jak, like this … he suddenly felt like he couldn’t move...


	3. In the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexual content ahead. (like, yea. it's a lot.)
> 
> Jak doesn't know when to quit... an awkward position and avoided glance leads him to another willful choice. And Torn's restraint gets put to the test.

Torn hoped his face didn’t betray the alarm bells that were ringing in his head. What had been carefree play-fighting a second ago was now basically full cowgirl. Jak didn’t seem to be aware of his compromised position, but Torn was, and it brought him back down to earth hard and fast. 

This could go wrong very quickly, he thought. If Torn did anything to betray his attraction to Jak right now, and Jak wasn’t into it, it could ruin everything. Their newly forming friendship, their memories from this day, and everything that would follow. Everything. It was all Torn could do to keep still and keep their bodies apart, as the light rain came down on them both.

Jak knew he might be going overboard, but his competitive-animal drive was fully in gear-- and quitting wasn’t exactly something he knew how to do. He was about to say something snarky and playful-- ‘ _what’s the matter, scared you can’t take me?_ ’-- but the look Torn had in his eyes brought him back to himself like a slap to the face. Was that… fear? No, not exactly. Jak knew what fear looked like. He’d seen it in people’s eyes too many times to not know it when he saw it. No, this was more like... anxiety. But why?

… Jak was confused. Everything was fine a second ago, but now, something was definitely wrong… Had he pushed him too far? Jak composed himself. “Sorry.” Jak murmured, and eased away a bit. Torn dropped his arm as their personal space was restored... Then, the backs of Jak’s thighs made contact with the topsides of Torn’s, and Jak was suddenly aware that he was settling his ass right over his dick. _Oh._

Torn used every ounce of willpower he possessed to keep a straight face, acting like he hadn’t noticed Jak’s weight on his body at all. They were men, after all. This pose wasn’t sexual for them, unless they decided that it was. But for either one to admit sexual interest to the other was a huge risk. It was like the world’s cruelest game of chicken-- he couldn’t do anything to let Jak think he was uncomfortable here, or anything to make him think that he liked it here either. 

Torn was trapped between a rock and a hard place. Or, more accurately, between the ground and his very hot, perfectly oblivious, friend. His nerves had betrayed him. He’d frozen, and it had already been several seconds. Now, he would need to find a way to play this off...  
  
‘ _Say something, damn it. It’s too quiet._ ’  
  
“H-hey” Torn swallowed around the lump in his throat and looked away. “You were right… about the rain, I mean.”

“Huh?”

“I… I’ll never know what your home was like, but… being out here, like this is… It’s really nice, and...” Jak looked down at Torn, who looked out at the forest around them. “...I think… I think I needed this. I didn’t realize it until now, but--” Torn let out a shaky breath “-- this has been fun, so… you know… _thanks_ , I guess... ”

There was just the slightest waver in his voice, Jak noticed. Torn wasn’t looking around to appreciate the scenery-- he was avoiding looking at _him_ . The thought hit him like a truck and he felt a stab of pain in his heart. A lot of people had flinched away from Jak before, but Torn had never been one of them, and he’d always been grateful to him for that. To see him avoiding his eyes now hurt Jak in a way that he didn’t think he could _be_ hurt… but it was different somehow. He knew that Torn didn’t fear him. Instead, the look in Torn’s ice-blue eyes held a faint glimmer of sadness… was that because of him too?

Jak realized that Torn had this same look earlier, back in the cave, when he suddenly got all jittery. He’d thought it was strange at the time, Torn doesn’t let many things get to him. But seeing Torn this way again, seeing him try so hard to hide his weakness... it pulled at something inside him. Whatever the reason for Torn’s sadness was-- fear, regret, _doubt--_ Jak suddenly felt like all he wanted was to smother it-- bury it. Whatever he had to do to make Torn look him in the eyes again. 

Sitting so close, Jak could fully appreciate the ridges and valleys of Torn’s shoulder muscles, as they rolled together neatly into his collarbone, where drops of rain briefly got caught before continuing down his chest. 

A spark of whim. An inspiration to do something careless-- something without reason, that was also its own reason. Jak watched a droplet of rainwater roll down the side of Torn’s face... and disappear at the curve of his mouth.

\-------

_‘Light another cigarette,_

_Talkin’ ‘til the mornin’s here,_

_I think you’re somethin’ special,_

_We could be somethin’ special’_

  
“ _Anyway…_ I guess we shoul--mm!” Jak leaned forward and cut Torn off mid-sentence, tucking his chin with one hand, pressing their lips together, and holding them there. Torn stiffened at the sudden action, but Jak maintained the kiss in spite of this.  
  
Jak was not a person who stifled himself. Holding back was for people who were afraid of consequences. But Jak was not someone who let potential consequences keep him from something he wanted. Jak would fight, or race, or get soaked in the rain as much as he wanted because he didn’t fear what might happen after. At least, that’s what he’d always thought.

Kissing Torn though? Feeling the warmth of his lips on his own, and his breath on his skin, Jak suddenly gained a new appreciation for the word ‘fear’. His stomach flipped. He was kissing his boss-- his _friend--_ the person he relied on the most-- the person who relied on _him_ the most. If there was one person in the world who could reject him, and make it hurt, it was Torn. And it _would_ hurt, Jak thought. It would hurt to lose Torn as a friend. Jak suddenly felt his ears burning-- his insides churning-- and he realized he was genuinely scared to pull away and see what Torn’s reaction would be.

After a few very uneasy moments, Jak let his hand fall away from under Torn’s chin and allowed their lips to separate. He pulled away... When he looked for Torn’s reaction, Jak found-- with a mixture of relief and disappointment-- that Torn’s face was almost completely neutral. ‘ _Well, at least he’s not mad_ ’ Jak thought. His brow was a bit raised in surprise, but he didn’t look happy either. He looked confused, if anything. Jak held his breath.

Jak was sure he could handle whatever Torn’s reaction would be-- if he was mad, he could play the whole thing off as a joke, if he had to-- but Torn having no reaction at all was somehow much worse. It was now that Jak noticed his heart was racing. The uncertainty was actually killing him. Shit. When did Torn become so important to him? Jak couldn’t remember. In the cold, hard reality of the aftermath of his whim, Jak realized there was one thing he was really afraid of. _‘… just, please don’t hate me.’_

_‘Taste of us,_

_now I want it,_

_now I want it,_

_Taste of us, and now...’_

Torn was completely dumbstruck. He couldn’t think. He could barely believe what just happened, even as he felt the last of Jaks warmth fading from his lips. Jak looked nervous. Had it been a mistake? Was Jak regretting it right now? What was the smart thing to do here; Laugh it off? Get mad? Would it be better to try and play to Jak’s expectations of him? Or would it be ok to go along with Jak’s whims, and just... see where they went?  
  
The warm rain came down on their bodies lightly now. They’d both actually forgotten it was raining, they’d gotten so used to it. But now, in the weight of this fragile tension, Jak and Torn felt every drop with heightened awareness. There was no sound, except for the steady tone of the rain drops pinging delicately all across the surface of the floodplain; and, of course, their own shallow breathing. Time may very well have been frozen. Everything rested on what Torn decided to do right here. He could either backtrack, and try to preserve their friendship as it was a few moments ago... _or_ ...  
  


But, as Torn looked up at Jak, in their slice of frozen time-- breathless, looking anxious and exhausted, soaking wet and gorgeous-- he realized with grateful clarity that there was no choice left to make. Jak had made the choice for him already... 

Like a pane of glass, Torn felt his will-to-reason shatter into a million tiny pieces. 

“s...Sorry!” Jak started, panicking “I just--” Torn deftly grabbed the back of Jak’s neck and pulled, bringing him back down and crashing their mouths together in a bruisingly-deep, open-mouth kiss-- sparking a surge of energy rushing between them, like completing a circuit. The relief coursed through Jak like a tidal wave. He moaned into Torn’s mouth, burying the sound in the congress of their tongues.  
  


‘... _Thank god._ ’ they both thought, as all their long-buried needs and wants finally boiled to the surface, collided, and began to mix...

_‘I would like to know you better_

_I would like to know you better’  
  
_

_\----------_

Their kiss was messy and spirited, without any breaks. Torn was done thinking, he just wanted every ounce of connection that Jak would give him. Jak always did have a way of pulling the truth out of him-- he’d always been the one to challenge him, even back when they’d just met-- and it was no different now. Somehow, Jak had seen right through him, and as they kissed, he was so grateful for it. With his grip on the back of Jak’s neck, he angled them both to deepen the kiss as effectively as possible, masterfully maneuvering them so they didn’t hit their teeth. 

Meanwhile, Jak had only one thought, ‘... _fuck, he’s good at this_ ’, as their tongues swirled and mingled with each other. He brought a hand up to touch Torn’s chest and felt tingles radiate through his palm. He needed more. Jak pushed forward into Torn, and arched his back to bring their chests together. 

They’d touched each other a lot already today-- playfully, innocently, aggressively-- but now, with want prickling under his skin, pressing himself against Torn sent shivers chasing up his spine. His head spun. He didn’t know he needed this so much until now. Wanting him, feeling Torn want him back, it suddenly made every touch and slide of skin ripple with fire.  
  
Torn felt heat course through his skin as Jak settled against his chest, and tensed his body at the contact-- straining to confine the moan that fought to escape into his mouth. God, Jak was soft. His skin, his hair, his lips, his tongue. He wanted all of him. But he couldn’t do anything to scare him either. Without knowing how far Jak wanted go-- and also being very sure that Jak himself hadn't even thought that far ahead yet-- Torn resolved that he would only go as far as Jak did, but not farther. 

He steeled himself against the rising urge to flip Jak over and press himself between his legs, and made a fist in Jaks hair to keep himself from reaching for his ass… but then Jak moaned into his mouth again and Torn cursed him. ‘ _shit, he’s makin’ this difficult_ ’ he thought, as the warmth between their bodies began to spread.  
  
Another whim. Another spark and Jak followed headlong after it. His impulses had gotten them this far-- they’d gotten Torn into the rain with him, into the water, and now, into his arms-- so he didn’t hesitate to chase this one too. He broke their kiss and dipped his head down, pulling their bodies apart as well. 

When his mouth made contact with Torn’s collar, Jak let his tongue slide against the soft skin there-- tasting rain water first, and the salt of his skin second-- as he licked a bold stripe up the curve of his neck, following his tattoos like a map. When Jak reached the midpoint between Torn’s collar and his jaw line, he arched his back downwards again-- his body flushing with Torn’s completely-- and punctuated the move with a roll of his hips, sliding their hot, wet bodies against each other in a way that could only be described as gloriously erotic. And Torn felt his mind go blank. 

Torn coiled his arm around Jak with a growl, gripping him forcefully as he rolled them both, putting Jak underneath him. The shallow water and lush grasses licked at their bodies as Torn settled in between Jaks legs and pressed them both into the sodden earth below-- reclaiming Jaks mouth with another hungry kiss and grinding into him, forcing pleased groans out of them both-- the fraying remnants of his restraint washing away with the rain water.

_‘I would like to know you better_

_I would like to know you better’_

_\--------_

Feeling Torn pressing his weight into him felt so good to Jak that it made him dizzy; like Torn’s desire was a storm of its own, and it threatened to sweep them both away in its fury. Torn maintained their kiss diligently, like he needed it to live. He grabbed the underside of Jak’s knee with one hand and hoisted it over the angle of his hips-- bringing their middles together as snuggly as possible-- while also supporting Jaks head and neck in the water with his other hand, protecting him from the discomfort of the earth below.

Torn rolled his hips again and it forced another moan out of him. Even Jak’s breathing was at Torn’s mercy now; the force of his body moving against his own compelled his lungs to respond to his rhythm, inhaling and exhaling only when the distribution of Torn’s weight allowed them to. Jak had never felt so vulnerable, so invaded. And also, at the same time... so completely secure.

Torn used his free hand to explore Jak’s yielding body-- running it smoothly from the pulse on his neck down the length of his body, squeezing his perfectly tight ass, and back up again-- while Jak’s hands did the same on his shoulders and back. Jak’s small gasps for breath between kisses were driving him crazy. Torn had always liked Jak’s voice, but even without vocalizing, Jak made the best sounds. Torn broke off their kiss and pushed past Jak’s jaw to reach his throat, sucking and biting at the tender skin there and feeling Jak’s pulse racing under his tongue.

How long had he wanted this? Was it just since this afternoon? No, Torn knew that wasn’t right. He'd always noticed Jak in this way, he’d just been too thick-skulled to acknowledge it to himself before now. There was always something that needed Torn’s attention, so every desire of his own invariably got pushed down, only to be let out in small, controlled bursts of black-out drinking and one-night stands… was this why he invited Jak out here in the first place?  
  
Jak hadn’t planned any of this. Jak didn’t make plans, he thought. But now, as Torn’s practiced ministrations sent blood rushing to his extremities-- and his groin in particular-- Jak wondered if that was really true. Daxter usually went everywhere with him. Torn hadn’t said anything about this mission being particularly dangerous or labor intensive. But now, Jak recalled how he had _lightly_ played up the possibility of metalhead encounters and arduous physical labor to Daxter when he asked about their mission-- ‘ _You’d probably hate it_ ’ Jak told him-- and Daxter eagerly accepted the offer to stay behind.

Jak found a lot of people attractive. Kiera, Ashelin, and Tess, for sure. Then there was Sig, who caught his eye for his impressive physique and lethal skills alone. Hell, even Jinx had a certain appeal for him, when he was in the right mood. But Torn had something else for Jak, something he didn’t find in other people. 

If he had to name it, it was his strength. His resolve. Most other people regarded Jak like he was dangerous, a wild card. Even if they did their best to hide it, Jak could always see the slight unease that crept into their features whenever he entered a room. They paid him extra attention, like he was a bomb that could go off at any time, and they were watching for signs that he would blow. They saw the monster first, and Jak second. Even Kiera had scorned him…  
  
But not Torn. Torn knew Jak’s capacity for rage and violence better than most, and he _still_ didn’t treat him like a threat. When Jak entered a room, Torn was the only person who never flinched. He just… trusted him as a person, when too many others seemed quick to forget that he was a person at all… 

So when Torn invited him out to Haven Forest today, Jak knew immediately that he wanted it to be just the two of them. He needed the freedom to be himself with Torn-- to feel accepted by _him_ \-- without anyone else’s feelings or ego to worry about. If that meant telling a few white lies to Daxter, then so be it. 

And now, as they worked each other's flesh with their hands and their mouths-- feeling Torn licking and sucking at his skin and his breath tickling his ears-- Jak felt his heart fill and overflow with contentment. Torn was touching him and kissing him and getting _so close_ because he really saw him as a person, and he wasn’t afraid. For the first time in... shit, it must be years now, Jak felt… _normal_ . _God_ , he hadn’t felt normal in so long. The last time must’ve been… _back then_.

Warmth burned from inside him at the thought, like he’d felt when he recognized his home in the violence of the storm. He grabbed at Torn’s body with new zeal and urgency-- pulling him more tightly against him-- his hunger for more of Torn’s affection and acceptance making his whole body hum with anticipation, and _want_.

\-------

Jak couldn’t contain how happy he felt. His hands roamed over Torn’s muscular form eagerly, before gripping two fistfulls of his dreadlocks and pulling him in for another tongue-deep kiss. Torn noticed the uptick in Jak’s energy, but he wasn’t going to complain. After circling each other all this time-- all the thoughts and daydreams he’d stifled-- glances stolen only when he was sure no one would notice-- being so close but never as close as he really wanted-- finally having Jak under him like this, and seeing him get all worked up at his touches, felt _amazing_ .  
  
Torn didn’t know where Jak’s energy was coming from, but he silently thanked the precursors-- or whoever, really-- for bringing this beautiful, willful, pain-in-the-ass guy into his life. He brought his free hand to rest on Jak’s chest, this time pressing the pad of his thumb over his nipple. Jak gasped at the sharpness of the sensation-- and the sound hit Torn’s ears like church bells, or ocean waves. _Damn_ , he loved that sound. He watched Jak’s face as he writhed-- his eyes were closed blissfully as he bit his lower lip. Torn grinned at the sight. _‘...sensitive, aren’t you.’_

Abruptly, Torn shifted, and slid down aways. Abandoning their kissing to wrap an arm underneath Jak’s body-- lifting him out of the water a bit-- taking one of his nipples in his mouth, and working the other with his free hand. Jak didn’t disappoint. He was practically mewling as Torn worked the delicate flesh between his tongue and teeth. 

In that moment-- feeling Jak’s firm, lithe body shivering and squirming helplessly in his arms-- Torn felt totally at peace. The torrent of their desires consuming him completely, and leaving no room in his mind for fear, regret, doubt, or anything else...

“ _t-Torn…_ ” Jak whimpered, his voice just barely there. Torn’s ears perked at the sound of his name crossing Jak’s lips, after hearing only rain and the flesh-sounds of their exchange for so long. It was the weakness, the neediness of it, that caught Torn’s attention. Jak’s voice called Torn back to himself-- he stopped his work and looked back up to Jak. 

Jak was a complete mess; he was breathless, his skin flushed and irises blown wide with lust. _Fuck_ , Torn thought as he looked over him-- the results of his handiwork-- did Jak actually want to do it right here? He looked really, _really_ desperate for Torn to continue…

Oh.. _oh_ _no_ …

  
The thought pierced through the veil of Torn’s contentment like a bullet… could he… could Jak be... a virgin?  
  
He froze. It was definitely possible. If he was-- if this was Jak’s first time-- Torn would have to take responsibility for that. Torn searched his memory for Jak making any references to sex, or any relationships close enough to possibly involve sex, but came up empty. The only person that even remotely fit the bill was Kiera... but Torn was pretty confident her threshold hadn’t been crossed, not by Jak at least. 

Torn supposed that either Tess or Ashelin could have taken a bite out of Jak without him knowing, but even if that were true, it would still make Jak a virgin when it came to having sex with men. Was he prepared for that? Did he have any idea what to expect? 

Torn’s mind spun as he wondered if Jak and Daxter seemed close enough to have had any juvenile sexual explorations together, back when they were teenagers... or, if Jak had had the misfortune of being raped during his time in prison. For a second, he could almost hear Jak’s name being uttered in Erol’s predatory whisper, or Daxter’s needy whine. Both thoughts competed to make Torn sick, albeit for different reasons.

No. Whether Jak was a virgin or not wasn’t the real issue here. What was more important was that Torn had to think about the question in the first place. There was still so much that Torn didn’t know about Jak, and even more that Jak didn’t know about him. And that was the real problem… they just didn’t know each other that well yet.  
  
Yes, Torn wanted him. Yes, the moment was perfect. And yes, having sex with Jak under the fall of a soft rain, with only the trees and the sky as their witnesses, would probably be the most romantic sex of their lives... But, what about after that? What would become of their friendship if Torn took his body now? 

  
In the midst of Torn’s thinking, Jak reached for him, touching his face and leaning forward from his reclined position to bring their mouths together again. He’d obviously been away for too long, Torn thought as they kissed. He noted the furrow of Jak’s brow and desperate energy of his kiss-- like Torn had been gone for hours… 

God, it would be so easy to do him right here, Torn thought. Push Jak’s knees up to his chest and drive into him, or put him on all fours and take him from behind, right here in the floodplain… But... if he did ...would Jak leave this forest thinking that sex was all that Torn wanted from him? Or even… that it was the reason he had gone into the rain with him in the first place?... No. Torn couldn’t let that happen. This had to stop. He cared about Jak too much to risk their friendship now… oh shit, when did that happen?

  
Then, Jak pulled Torn back against him with a wet smack, their middles meeting again, and Torn felt the firm, unmistakable ridge of Jak’s clothed erection pressing against his stomach.

_‘_ _Holy shit… when did he get this hard?’..._


	4. In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... what's worth more. someone has to chose...

Torn thought Jak must’ve read his mind, because right at the moment he realized he needed to start pumping the brakes, Jak decided to wrap his arms and legs around him and kiss him like he was the best thing that ever happened to him. Torn always knew that Jak lacked self control, but he’d never been caught in his rift like this before. Jak hummed his contentment at having Torn flush with him again and squeezed Torn’s waist with his thighs. He was _clearly_ enjoying himself. 

Jak didn’t like taking orders on his best days. How was he going to shut this down without making him feel rejected? Where was he even supposed to start? Torn pulled away to break their kiss. Jak, unbothered, went to suck at the nape of Torn’s neck instead.

  
  
“h-Hey” Torn started. 

“Mmhm?”

“We should… probably... start heading back.” Torn muttered, trying not to enjoy the feeling of Jaks mouth on his skin. Jak hummed his acknowledgement against Torn’s carotid artery.

“mmm...I don’t _want_ to.” Jak whispered, low and sweet, into Torn’s ear-- his breath on his ear making him shiver-- he had to bite his lower lip between his teeth to keep from sighing. ‘ _There’s the guy who stormed the barons’ palace_ ’ Torn thought. Going for the ears is just playing dirty, and Jak definitely knew that. Torn could feel the smile on Jak’s lips as he kissed at his skin. 

The move might’ve been cheap, but it was undeniably effective. Torn begrudgingly acknowledged the blood rushing to his groin. Ok, so Jak probably wasn’t a virgin. Jak obviously knew enough about sex to think he knew everything about it. But he definitely didn’t have any experience with fucking friends, that much was clear from how eager he was; Torn did though. Torn had enough experience to run laps around Jak if he wanted. 

Which was why he knew they needed to stop here. Torn being older than Jak, and also technically his boss, didn’t have much impact on their usual relationship-- they were so closely matched, in terms of intensity and physicality, that they felt like equals to each other most of the time. But, in terms of sexual experience, Torn knew it that he completely out-classed him. That was a power imbalance that he couldn’t ignore-- at least, not until they were both on the same page. He put his hands on Jak’s sides and, gently, started to push him away.

“Mmph-- Come on, Jak--” Torn hissed through gritted teeth “-- storm’s passed--” Jak dug his fingers into the flesh of Torn’s back as he felt him pull away “-- people will start lookin’ for us... if we don’t check in soon.” Jak stilled, resting his forehead against Torn’s chest-- seeming to consider this for a moment-- but he didn’t let go…

  
“... _let ‘em_ .” Jak said against Torn’s collarbone, his voice a low rumble, before claiming his neck with a bite. _Fuck_ , Torn liked hearing those words. He liked it when anyone got so horny for him that they started forsaking the world, but he liked it even more hearing it from Jak. The words were no surprise coming from him-- he always had been the ‘ask forgiveness, not permission’ type-- but they still hit Torn in a very special way; the kind of way that enabled drinking contests, and reckless driving, and rough sex in strange beds.

Jak rolled his hips and Torn felt his erection pressing into him again, as well as his own, as Jak basically grinded himself on it. Torn swallowed the saliva that was pooling in his mouth as he thought ‘ _...it wouldn’t hurt just to suck him off, right? he’s practically begging me for it..._ ’ 

Torn weighed the degrees of seriousness of various sex acts in his head, looking for a reason-- any reason-- that would give him plausible deniability later. Blowjobs aren’t that serious, right?... But, the feeling of Jak’s fingers moving toward their fronts-- tracing over his hips and pulling at his belt-- brought Torn back to his right mind.  
  
Pulling himself away from Jak, his willing body and his touches, felt like the dumbest thing Torn had ever done-- and his body cursed him as he did it. ‘ _No, no, no, no-- moron-- what are you doing?!_ ’ His stomach turned and his skin crawled as he pried himself out of Jak’s grasp, sitting upright, and leaving Jak in the shallow water.

  
“Jak, I mean it…” Torn couldn’t bring himself to look Jak in the eyes as he said it. A beat of silence hung in the air between them. Jak pushed himself up to a sitting position too, suddenly lucid at hearing Torn’s serious tone. “... we should... stop here.”

\-------

With his lust-haze clearing, Jak suddenly felt embarrassed at the erection in his pants-- which was still very visible, thanks to the water-soaked fabric leaving very little to the imagination. Not that he thought Torn cared, but in hindsight, Jak could see now how he might have come off as over-eager. A blush burned at his cheeks and ears.

  
“... oh… sorry.” Jak murmured. Torn finally looked back to Jak’s face and it damn-near broke his heart-- he looked like a kicked crocadog-- eyes downcast, a weak smile, clearly hurt but trying not to show it. “I just thought that… you wanted to…”

  
“No, no-- _Hey_ , don’t get me wrong!” Torn said, panicking-- almost reaching for him again, but stopping short. “I do-- _Fuck_ \-- I really, _really_ do… more than you know...” He wanted to touch him more. He wanted to hug him, but he fought the urge-- he needed to control the situation, starting with his role in it, as the mature one. 

How was he supposed to explain this? That he didn’t want to do something that Jak might regret later-- that the difference in experience between them would make it entirely Torn’s fault should that happen-- and that he was too scared of losing his friendship to risk that?

Torn heaved a weary sigh, and settled on scooting in next to Jak, so they were side-by-side in the water. They looked out at the floodplain together for a moment, their attraction to each other now hanging in the air around them, like ash and smoke lingering after an explosion.

“It’s not about that…” Torn started again. Jak watched Torn struggle as he searched for exactly what he wanted to say. He wondered if Torn was going to say that they shouldn’t do this because of his rank in the new government, or because of Jak’s eco powers… or maybe, because there was someone else. That last idea in particular made a pit in Jak’s stomach.

“Then... what’s wrong?” Jak asked, after the silence had gone on a while.

“I just… I didn’t bring you out here for this.” Torn replied. Jak narrowed his brow, confused.

“What?... I mean, I know that you didn--”

“--But that won’t be true anymore, if… if we go through with this here.” Torn finished, cutting him off. Jak absorbed this. He was talking about their mission, the pretext that got them out here today. Torn was stopping this… to protect what Jak thought of him?

“Huh… I didn’t think you were the type who took sex so seriously.” Jak mused, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t.” Torn sneered, matter-of-factly. Jak squinted at him.

“ _Huh?_ \-- Then, I don’t understand what--”

“--I take you seriously though.” Torn continued. Jak’s voice left him. “Look, I coulda brought some other guys out for this job, but… I invited you because I wanted to hang out with you. And, I think… I wanna hang out with you more, so... I don’t want you thinking that this was just about sex for me… that’s all.”

  
  
It never failed, Torn thought, as he felt the familiar burn creep over his features. Admitting that he cared about someone always made him blush. In that way at least, he was still as immature as Jak. Torn could feel Jak looking over at him, and he prayed that his face didn’t look nearly as red as it felt. Jak still didn’t have words to respond with, so Torn went on.

“So, don’t think that I don’t want to… cause that’s not it. I just… I wanna know you better first… I guess...”

Jak let Torn’s admission sink in. He’d been so scared that Torn was going to reject him, but it turned out to be the opposite. It wasn’t just Torn telling him yes or no, but he was asking for more-- more of _him--_ than just sex… 

Warmth bubbled up from deep inside him-- like it had when Torn kissed him in the floodplain-- when he’d watched Torn step out into the rain-- and, back when Torn had asked him about Sandover, in the cave. 

  
“You just… wanna hang out with me more?” Jak asked, repeating Torn’s words.

“Yea… so--” abruptly, Jak started laughing, cutting Torn off before he could say anymore. He'd been so worried, but it turned out to be nothing. Jak couldn’t help but laugh at how comical it all was… and how relieved he felt. He clapped Torn on the shoulder and Torn just looked at him blankly. 

Jak had a cute laugh, but this was bordering on hysterical. He hugged his stomach, he was laughing so hard. Torn just raised his eyebrows at him. He waited a few beats for Jak to calm down, but his amusement seemed endless. “Something funny?” Torn asked curtly.

“Yea!… _tch-hehehe_ \--” Jak was barely coherent. Still gorgeous though, Torn thought, as he watched Jak shaking beside him, stray pieces of his hair clinging to his face. Torn hadn’t seen Jak laugh too many times before, but when he did, Jak had a smile that was made of pure gold. He was still shuddering with a few giggles when he finally managed “-- _me too_ …” another giggle, he forced a few deep breaths to get out the rest. “...I wanna... hang out with you more, too...” 

Jak beamed that pure smile at Torn, and Torn felt something inside him break. It must have been his last reservation, because what had been feelings of friendship and sexual attraction only a moment ago, had-- in an instant-- shattered, remolded, and crystallized-- into a burning, raging, consuming adoration. Torn had to look away, otherwise, he was definitely going to kiss him again.

“Well… good.” Torn managed to say, looking out at the floodplain with Jak struggling to compose himself beside him. But inside, Torn only thought. 

_‘man... I am completely fucked.’_

\--------

Jak felt like he was buzzing. Torn liked him. Jak knew he wouldn’t say so explicitly, but Torn saying that he ‘wanted to know him better’ was likely as close as he was ever going to get. It took a rain storm, some reckless whimsy, and more than a little fooling around to drag it out of him, but they finally knew where they stood with each other. 

Looking at Torn-- who was so embarrassed at having revealed his feelings that he was refusing to look at him again-- Jak felt nothing but grateful; for Torn, for their friends, for Daxter-- for the war, the city, the metalheads-- and the Rift Ring that brought him to this far off future in the first place. It took all of those things to bring him here, to a place where he could be himself, with a person who wanted him, but also, cared about him enough to put off having sex... because they thought he was worth more than that... 

“It’s _cute_ , you know--” Jak started, and Torn’s ear twitched. “--the way you get all awkward about this stuff.” Torn snorted. Anyone who knew him at all knew that ‘cute’ was the one thing you could call him that was guaranteed to piss him off; and Jak was saying it next to his ear. He didn’t need to look at him to know that Jak was grinning; he could just feel it, like he could feel the sun pushing its way through the thinning clouds. The ploy was so obvious it just made him laugh.

  
  
“ _Ha_! well, don’t get used to it, ok? Cause I’m n-- _mm_!” Jak caught his mouth with another kiss, seizing Torn’s face in his hands as he turned back to look at him. Torn was surprised-- he could swear that his heart skipped a beat, from the suddenness of it-- but didn’t fight it… ‘ _This guy… must be trying to kill me.’_ he thought, as he let Jak’s kiss melt away his self-conscious pride.   
  


When they parted, Jak looked him in the eyes.

  
“...Thank you.” Jak said. Torn squinted at him.

“For what?” Jak shrugged, releasing his hold on Torn and sitting back, looking out at the floodplain, which had begun to shimmer with sunlight.

“For today, I guess… I had a lot of fun with you, and..” Jak blushed and looked down when he felt Torn waiting for the rest of his sentence. “--I just… it’s been a long time, since… “ 

Jak couldn’t bring himself to say it. The words wouldn’t form. ‘... _since I really felt ok._ ’ They just got caught in his throat. No matter how true those words might be-- that being with Torn made him the happiest he’s felt in years, that his friendship made him feel normal, and that his body made him feel safe-- admitting to all that… seemed like too much to put on a person, on any person. 

And, there was something else too, something childish that he’d held on to all this time-- the idea that he had to be a hero. Whether he liked it or not, the fact was that people relied on him. Admitting to weakness-- admitting that it could be lonely being everyone’s go-to guy, or that he sometimes wished he could just leave everything behind-- felt like something that Jak just… shouldn’t say… not to anyone.  
  
The pause had lingered on a bit, and Jak wondered if Torn was annoyed by his unfinished sentence. He searched for something else he could say that would feel natural… but then, he felt Torn’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close. 

“--Hey...” Jak looked up and saw that Torn’s face was really close-- for a second, he thought he was coming in to kiss him-- but the position was all wrong for that. Instead, he just touched their foreheads together, holding them close with his arm around Jak’s shoulder, his fingers loosely in his hair.

“... it’s fine.” Torn said, as he closed his eyes to him.

  
  
Jak froze... He didn’t understand it… A few minutes ago, he’d had Torn between his legs, so… why was it this action that felt... so personal? Why did it feel like Torn had understood him, even though he couldn’t say it out loud? And… why did this gesture… make him feel so relieved? He closed his eyes to Torn too, and felt the words that were caught in his throat fade away.

  
  
Torn had seen that look a lot during the war. It was the look that people had when they wanted to be weak but couldn’t, and it took Torn no time at all to recognize it in Jak. It wasn’t his place to tell Jak how to deal with his burden, but he knew that just acknowledging it would be worth more to him than most people would ever know. 

So he did the only thing that he knew worked every time; something he’d done for battle-weary subordinates in the dark of many anxious nights, and something his comrades had done for him too. It was a simple gesture; not romantic or sexual in nature, but still… intimate; perhaps because it wasn’t romantic or sexual. A way of being there for someone; of silently saying ‘ _I know your pain_ ’, and ‘ _you’re not alone_ ’... and also ‘ _I love you_ ’, if you were listening hard enough… 

The rain was over. A breeze rustled the leaves of the trees, shaking free their excess drops of rain water into the floodplain, and sunlight danced back up into the trees all around them. Not that Jak or Torn noticed any of this. Sitting together, eyes closed, feeling nothing but each other’s breathing… the rest of the world may as well have disappeared completely... 

“You don’t have to thank me, yea?” Torn murmured. Jak managed a weak laugh. 

“Yea... ok.”

Feeling calm and warm in Torn’s gentle embrace, Jak wondered, to himself, if this was what it felt like to find home in a person...  
  



	5. In the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> but, this end was actually just the beginning...

Jak was the first to stand up, seeming totally energized, like nothing had changed-- but also, invigorated by their new positions with each other.

“We should get going then.” He said with a smile as he looked around at the forest, the trees and the grass now shimmering with sunlight. Torn smiled too, glad that Jak still had his cheerful mood. Torn stood up.

“Yea... we’ve been gone too long by now.” He said with a stretch.

“We’ll probably get an ear-full from Ashelin for taking so long.” Jak mused, kicking at the water of the floodplain wistfully.

“Nah, Ashelin won’t give us trouble over inclement weather.” Torn said as he cleaned himself up, wiping at the bits of grass and dirt on his arms, and the legs of his pants.

“Sure...  _ But _ , if she does, I’ll just tell her it was all  _ your fault _ .” Jak said back with a sneer “After all, we would’ve been back way sooner if you hadn’t  _ kissed me _ like that.”

  
“ **_Me--?_ ** ” Torn whipped around to glare at him “No, no, no, don’t  _ you _ pin this--” Oh, Jak loved to make him mad, Torn thought as he choked on his retort “ _ \-- you _ kissed  _ me _ , remember?” He got up in his face and scowled “ _ You _ started this.” Jak just shrugged.

  
“ _ That? _ I just did that cause you got all  _ weird and stiff _ on me-- everything after that was all  _ you _ .” Jak replied smuggly. He’d always loved pressing Torn’s buttons, even before their escapades today. But now that Jak knew Torn was into him, he was even bolder with his taunts-- and being a smug little shit about it. Too bad for Jak, though, cause Torn knew how to handle this too.

“... _ I didn’t exactly hear you complaining _ .” He answered back smoothly, glaring down at Jak with a knowing grin, calling back the fresh memories of his pleased moans and greedy kisses.

Jak might feel bolder, now that they’d admitted their attraction to each other, but Torn had just as many new cards to play against him too-- after having him turn to putty in his hands. Jak’s eyes darted away and he stammered, trying to regain the upper hand.

“Pssh-- that? I was just comforting  _ you _ . I didn’t  _ actually-- _ ”

“--Oh,  _ please-- _ ” Torn interrupted “ _ \--you wanted it so bad _ \-- if I didn’t stop when I did, I bet you would’ve  _ begged _ me for it.” He snarled, vindictive glee in his eyes. Just because he liked Jak didn’t mean he had to go easy on him. Challenging each other was how they liked to interact, it wasn’t going to be any different now... and neither of them wanted it to be.

After a beat, Jak answered, looking up at Torn with steely fire in his eyes. 

  
“...  _ you’d make me beg, would you? _ ” he sneered. Torn stiffened... He hadn’t expected Jak to hit him there-- practically mocking him for his show of restraint-- taking his own words and sending them back as an accusation-- one that conjured lewd images of Jak begging for his cock, in some near-off, promise of a future… 

“ _ You-- _ ” Torn started, but couldn’t find anything to hit back with. He got him. And that smug look made Torn so mad he could feel his blood boil-- but that might’ve been for another reason too. Jak was going to be even more trouble now than he was before... but he won this one, fair and square. Torn huffed “--you’re such a  _ brat _ .” and started walking past him. Jak laughed at Torn’s exasperated concession.

“What’s the matter Torn, not laughing about this yet?” Jak teased, playfully grabbing at Torn’s arm as he passed.

Torn snatched Jak by his wrist and threw him-- ducking and weaving under his arm, twisting, sending Jak forward-- and he landed flat on his back in the floodplain.

“-- **_fuck_ ** !” Jak sputtered as he hit the water. Torn stood over him.

  
  
“... _ Owed you that _ \--” Torn mused venomously “-- _ from before. _ ”

“Right. Yea.” Jak wheezed from his position in the water. Torn expected Jak to look surprised at being thrown, but to his bemusement, he found that Jak was still smiling-- like he'd barely even felt it.

Jak sat up in the water and Torn waited for him to stand, but he lingered there, taking one last look at the scene around them; the shimmering floodplain, and the lush forest, every inch gleaming with dewdrops in the warm, afternoon sunlight.

“It’s nice, too… that you don’t wanna rush this, I mean.” Jak pondered from his spot in the water-- his tanned skin glittering with sunlight, like everything else-- looking as content as a crocadog. He smiled up at Torn again. “It’ll be more fun this way.” 

Torn couldn’t take any more of that smile of his. He averted his gaze while he helped Jak up from the water. 

“Yea, well... don’t be too pleased about it. I have my own reasons.” said Torn dismissively as they left the floodplain together, making their way back to the cave where they’d left their clothes.

  
“Really, like what?” Jak asked. Torn scoffed, like the answer was obvious.

“Like how it’d be a  _ huge _ pain in my ass if having sex made things awkward. I can’t exactly have my best guy pissed off at me because I hurt his feelings-- _people could die you know_.” 

  
“ _ Oh… _ ” Jak grumbled, a little put out that Torn’s reason was so practical and reasonably sound. It tickled Jak’s pride to hear Torn refer to him as his ‘best guy’. And, at the same time, it irritated him immensely that his responsibility to other people, as their ‘hero’, was at play here… same as always. 

But what caught his attention more was the way Torn had said that  _ he _ would be the one to hurt  _ Jak’s _ feelings-- like he was sure it would happen-- like it was a guarantee-- like he knew, because he’d done it too many times before… Torn felt Jak go quiet, and thought it best to change the subject.

“ _Besides_ … outdoor sex is overrated anyway.” Torn said briskly as he passed him-- and Jak’s train of thought got blasted to pieces. He stopped dead in his tracks.

  
“...wait…  _ What _ _?!_ ” Jak called to Torn, now a few paces ahead of him.

“Yea. Not nearly as hot as people think.” Torn continued. Jak raced to catch up and got in front of him.

  
“ _Hold it_ \-- **_hold on a second_ ** \--  _ you’ve _ done it outside before?  **_You_ ** ?” Jak questioned, pointing at Torn incredulously. He must’ve heard him wrong, Jak thought. There was no way that  _ Torn-- _ the guy who routinely reamed him for reckless behavior-- had done something like  _ that… _ but Torn just looked back at him blankly.

“...I’m thirty, Jak. Of course I have.”

Jak was looking at Torn like he’d just told him that he eats snakes for breakfast-- he faced him dead on and waited for him to explain. Torn didn’t know-- not off the top of his head anyway-- how to explain to Jak that what he thought was an adventurous act of passion was actually very mundane and common-place. At least-- it had been that way for him-- back then. 

“Look, the war wasn’t exactly a cake walk, ok? Seeing people die-- wondering when you, or one of your friends, would be next-- everybody got pretty amped up, and... there wasn’t a lot of privacy in the barracks, so…” Torn looked away “...  _ fucking _ , out in the woods, while you were on patrol... wasn’t  _ that _ weird, for us...” 

Torn wasn’t embarrassed to admit this to Jak, so much as he was just nervous to share his past with him. There was a lot in his past that Torn wasn’t proud of now, and even mentioning his old war friends was enough to make him squirm.

“... _ Wow… _ ” Jak didn’t notice Torn’s discomfort though. He was too busy picturing Torn on his knees for a comrade, trading blowjobs behind a thicket with reckless abandon because tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed… or fucking a fellow soldier against a tree, muffling their moans with his fingers in their mouth, and purring ‘ _ you don’t want to get us caught, do you? _ ’ into their ear... 

“...I don’t know, that sounds...  _ pretty _ hot to me.” Jak mused dreamily, as he followed Torn back through the forest.

  
“You would  _ think _ that--” Torn shrugged, and kept walking “--but let me tell ya: one rock, or a twig, in the wrong place can really kill a mood. And if you lose your footing on soggy ground, and slip? The whole thing becomes a chore real fast.” he pressed two fingers to his temple-- seeming to reflect on specific memories with involuntary cringe. 

“Huh… ok.” Jak conceded.

  
“Anyway… Call me old fashioned, but I think the  _ classic set-up _ is pretty hard to beat.” Torn carried on.

  
“Set-up?” Jak asked.

“A bed--  _ with sheets _ .” Now  _ that _ sounded like Torn, Jak thought. But he was caught by the way Torn emphasized that point-- didn’t all beds just have sheets?

“With sheets.” Jak repeated. 

“-- _ Yes _ .” Torn said bitterly, like he was cursing someone in particular… 

And Jak slowly started to get the picture that Torn had… probably… been with a lot of people. 

The question lurched to the front of Jak’s mind-- ‘ _ how many? _ ’-- he wanted to ask. The words were already trembling on his tongue, eager to escape. But Jak swallowed them. He may not know much, but still he knew that question was rude to ask under most circumstances. His curiosity would have to wait, for now at least.

  
“...Sounds like you really know your stuff.” Jak remarked as they approached the cave.

  
“That may be true--” Torn replied “-- but, coming from you, that means basically nothing.” he added with a sneer.

\-------

Inside the cave, they called Ashelin, who was only slightly irritated at their late check in, and then started to get back into their clothes. Torn was still tightening the straps of his armor plates when Jak summoned the nerve to ask. 

“So, when do I get to hear some of your war stories? Sounds like you had a... busy time of it, before I showed up.” Jak asked over his shoulder while he adjusted his weapon-belt, in a tone that he hoped sounded like innocent curiosity.

Torn squinted back at him. Jak was not built for being subtle-- at all-- and he was clearly still hung up on the ‘outdoor-sex-with-comrades’ thing from earlier, but was trying to act cool about it. Torn let his skeptical gaze burn into him, and Jak seemed to get it that Torn wasn’t buying into his purely academic inquisition. 

“uh-Unless, you don’t _want_ to talk about _it--_ _the war_ \-- heheh… I would understand that.” Jak stammered, shifting his weight awkwardly and suddenly taking great interest in the interior structure of the cave. Not that Torn would ever tell him, but he thought that Jak was really cute when he got all flustered like that. 

“Sure, I’ll tell you about it sometime.” Torn replied casually, having mercy on him. Torn knew it would be uncomfortable for him-- for both of them, most likely-- but he’d have to tell him about his past eventually. Jak had a right to know what he was getting himself into, at least. 

Jak did his best to not react too much, even though his ears definitely twitched upwards at hearing Torn’s offer.

“Ok, cool…” a pause. Torn was still lacing up the straps of his armor-- his outfit clearly took much longer to get into than to get out of. Jak fidgeted impatiently. “Sometime, like…  _ when? _ ” Jak pried. Torn rolled his eyes at him.

“I don’t know.  _ Later _ .” Torn muttered as he moved on to his boots. Another pause. Jak suddenly had a new appreciation for Torn’s reasoning to put off sex. 

Torn could, at times, be a very independent person, who clearly did not like feeling obligated to do things-- Jak could easily see now how his intimate partners would find this irritating, and how he could hurt their feelings. Jak wanted to shake him. ‘ _ You’re killing me here. Just name a time and place, you jerk. _ ’ Torn could feel Jak jittering while he tightened the straps of his boots. He heaved a weary sigh.

  
“...I work til’ sundown most days.” Torn started, and Jak's heartbeat picked up. “Tomorrow’s not good for me, but... the day after is fine. We could meet up around then… if you wanted.” Torn added as he stood, now fully restored, if still a bit wet.

“... the day after tomorrow?” Jak repeated. Torn grumbled in confirmation. 

Jak guessed that Torn’s mental fuel-gauge for handling emotions was just about to hit ‘empty’ for today-- he looked irritated about the wetness clinging to his pants still, and was probably only thinking about going home and getting cleaned up.

  
  
So this was what it felt like to start something with a person, Jak thought as he watched Torn leave the cave and start back towards the city. It wasn’t just about liking them when things were hot, and convenient, but also when things weren’t-- when the other person was irritable, obnoxiously pragmatic, and otherwise not completely enchanting...

It was… going to be a new challenge for him. But Jak was never one to back down from a challenge, and, as he left the cave, he only felt eager to experience what else was in store for them both.

  
  
And, at least, he knew when he’d see him again. 

“Yea, that works.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING. I KNOW IT WAS A LOT, BUT I HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING IT.
> 
> If you want to, I’d love to hear ya’lls thoughts on it! 
> 
> I had to make a lot of decisions about how the characters would react to certain things-- as well as about Jak and Torn’s pasts, and how they feel about them-- I tried to keep it as close to their characters as possible. 
> 
> But some creative choices had to be made *cough*torn’s-extensive-sexual-history*cough*
> 
> Anyway, if anyone actually made it through all that, I'd love to hear how you liked it!
> 
> YES: I do have a sequel in mind already. Definitely need a breather after writing all of this-- but I think i’ll definitely get to it eventually-- would be some smaller, individual drabbles, covering several events over several days, about Jak and Torn getting to know each other better after the events here. Rather than one large scene, like this one was.
> 
> Be sure to subscribe if you want to be notified for the sequel!
> 
> 'Taste Of Us'


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